Can someone help me with my poems? (review them)?

I wrote a few poems and i dont know if they are any good. My friends and family tell me i should try and enter a few contests, but i want to hear what all of you have to say about them. If you have any suggestions to make them any better, please tell me. i would really like to know.





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Horseback Riding





Rhythmic bumps


Up and down


The fear of falling off is eminant


The love of staying on is magic


One after the other


Hitting the solid ground beneath





Bay, like the color of the mud


Soft fur all over


Ears perked ready for the run


Gleaming leather saddle


Soft leather reins


Legs wrapped tight


Ready? Set. Trot!





Heavy dust in the air


Whinnys in the distance


Wind whisping through the barn


Old hinged doors


Cats meowing gently


And mice scattered about


Laden with wood paneled floors


Something more is coming





Holding on tight


Right, left, ...


Falling throught the air


padded by the sand


Eye-level with four cantering shoes


Get back up and try again


Spooked no more





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Can%26#039;t write a Poem





Paper and pencil


But no words to come


Clock is slowly ticking


Time is running out


People around me


Their pencils madly racing


Only gives me one more thought


I can%26#039;t right a poem





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Fall/ Thanksgiving





Leaves from green to orange and red


Barren trees sweep softly in the wind


No one around


Everything quiet and still


From warm to cold


And flowers to snow





People inside


Laughing and talking


Sitting in chairs


Already eating


Football is on in the old living room


Cries of delight in the loud dining room





Turkey and gravy


Cranberries and cassaroles


Plates a mess with mountains of food


Silverwear strewn all over the table


Stains of red wine and other surprises


Wait a year, then do it again





Leaves from green to orange and red


Barren trees sweep softly in the wind


No one around


Everything quiet and still


From warm to cold


And flowers to snow





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Swimming (I need the most help with this one)





Cutting through the water


Like a knife and butter


Water droplets spraying about


Caps and heads bobbing up and down


Legs kicking, and arms pulling


Gasping for more air





The finish line ahead


The diving block gleaming


One more stroke... then two... then three





The crowd is cheering


Laughing and talking


And the coaches are yelling


Screaming and clapping





It has all payed off


Those 6 o%26#039;clock practices


First place is mine


In free, back, breast, and fly





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Thanks to everyone that took the time to read these. I really appreciate it. I think they also need some new titles, so once again... if anyone has any ideas to make them better, let me know.





thanks =)

Can someone help me with my poems? (review them)?
You defiantly have talent.


I love what you%26#039;re writing about, it%26#039;s original.


You could help some of you lines flow a little better into one another.


example..


Clock is slowly ticking


Time is running out





Clock is slowly ticking


and time is running out.





Just a thought.


Anyway, Nice work:)
Reply:Just did some spell checking hon, their all very good, I rhyme mostly so I%26#039;m afraid I%26#039;d be no good of an edit unless rhyme was involved LOL sorry kiddo %26lt;3
Reply:they%26#039;re really good, i like how its not nesesarily every other line rhymes, yet they go together perfectly, not everyone can do that.............................really great, keep up the good work.



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