Monday, April 20, 2009

Because i am a man = tell me if it sounds about right?

Because I%26#039;m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.





Because I%26#039;m a man, when the car isn%26#039;t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I%26#039;m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, %26quot;I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn%26#039;t know where to start.%26quot; We will then drink beer.





Because I%26#039;m a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn%26#039;t an issue.





Because I%26#039;m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like soap or olive oil. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which %26quot;feminine hygiene product%26quot; is a euphemism.





Because I%26#039;m a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.





Because I%26#039;m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).





Because I%26#039;m a man, there is no need to ask me what I%26#039;m thinking about. The answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don%26#039;t.





Because I%26#039;m a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother%26#039;s day is okay, I don%26#039;t need to see it. And don%26#039;t forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!





Because I%26#039;m a man, you don%26#039;t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you%26#039;re crying at the end of it, I didn%26#039;t.





Because I%26#039;m a man, I think what you%26#039;re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?





Because I%26#039;m a man, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I%26#039;ll do the rest.

Because i am a man = tell me if it sounds about right?
wow a man who knows his faults rare


i know, your missus is holding a gun to your head while you write


like it all the same


a star for you
Reply:Sounds exactly right.
Reply:And they say us woman go on and on. And after all that, because I am a woman I have got a headache and am going to have a lie down. And dont disturb me.....
Reply:Because you are a man, you NEED a woman!
Reply:zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Reply:yeah its right. thats exactely what u men do.
Reply:Fcukin brilliant mate-you%26#039;ve just described me better than I ever could-Empathy and respect to ya!!!
Reply:dodgybloke you deserve a star......you bin goin through my mans profile lol......
Reply:Ha, ha, made me laugh, have a star.
Reply:that is so true ;;* it makes so much sense
Reply:I LOVE it!!!!!!!!!
Reply:This is so close to perfect that it scares me.
Reply:sounds right to me... you cant beat perfection!


what does euphemism mean?



flower

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