Please read this story i wrote. By a 6th grader?

Hollywood Troubles





“Hhhhh, Julia sighed. It’s just another day, another ordinary day”


Julia Lintheart was staring out her window, looking at the warm summer day. There were blue skies, green grass, you’d think it be perfect. But no. She was in a dismal mood.


“Why should I be the only one not having fun? She thought to herself. “It’s just not fair”. Julia sighed once again as she stroked her long brown hair that draped around her right shoulder with her soft, pale hands.


Julia was mad because she was the only one who hadn’t done adventurous over the summer. Time was running out only 3 weeks before the 9th grade. She had to something that she could remember the 8th grade summer by and something everyone else would remember her, Julia, by.


Julia went downstairs into the kitchen of her medium sized home. The kitchen was a light tan color, with oak wood cabinets. There was a stainless steel oven, dishwasher and microwave. Her mother was loading dishes into the dishwasher as she came downstairs.


“Well, we have to go pick up your little sister Rose from her friend, Lavender’s house”, her mother replied holding a white plate.


“Do I have to come? Why can’t I say home with Dad? Er, wait Dad’s never home”, Julia said in a quiet tone, “He’s always on some tour, I just keep forgetting.


“ As a rookie film producer he is very busy, but he’s quite good at it. He seems to have a knack for it.


“I know, but it’s been two whole months. Sometimes I just wish he could come home.


“We all do, Jules”, he mother said wiping her hands on the white towel.


Was this remark supposed to make her feel better? Because she didn’t feel any better. In fact she felt sadder.


”Anyway, Julia you have to come.”


“Why can’t I stay home? I’m old enough”, Julia inquired.


“I know Julia but you have to go shopping you need clothes for fall. In case you are wondering Julia had already bought clothes for the winter last week.


Julia wanted to roll her blue eyes but kept herself from doing so. Instead she said “whats wrong with the clothes I have”, glancing down at her dark blue jeans and her ABERCROMBIE t-shirt.


Almost instantaneously her obsessive-shopping mother answered. “Your jeans are ripped, they’re too old and---


Julia cut her mother off. “Old. What do you mean old! 3 weeks ago, that’s old”!


“Julia you are going shopping and that’s final”, her mother replied in a stern voice.


Julia groaned. “When are we going?”


“Half an hour” she answered.


Julia went back up the spiral stair case and into her bedroom. Her bedroom was a light blue color. There was a twin sized bedroom that was right in the middle of her room. She walked on the soft carpet of her bedroom. She layed on her tootsie roll pillow.


A raindrop fell on her window. It started to sprinkle outside. The blue skies turned gray. Julia didn’t know what to do.


“Jules come on 1et’s go”, her mother called putting on her black trench coat.


Julia dragged her feet down the steps. She went to the entrance hall of her home.


She put her tennis shoes on and grabbed the black umbrella. Julia and her mother walked out the front door , and hopped into the silver minivan.


Her mother backed out of the drive way.


“Julia?” Her mother asked.


“Yeah”, she answered.


Mrs. Lintheart took a deep breath. “I-I just got off the”, she faltered. How do I put this nicely”? Julia, I just got off the phone with dad. We’re moving”.





~CHAPTER 2~





A million questions raced through her mind. Where are we moving? When are leaving? Why are we going? What are my friends going to think?


“I’m sorry”, Mrs. Lintheart said apologetically.


Julia didn’t know why he mother was so sorry. She wasn’t so mad herself. “Should I be mad”? She asked her mother.


“No. Not at all, I just didn’t know how you were going to react”, she answered turning around a curb.


“Where are we going?” Julia asked rather excited.


“Hollywood”, her mother replied.


Julia’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “What did you say?”


“Well”, Mrs. Lintheart started. Your father has a role opening, and he needs a girl about your age. If you get it were staying at least till the movie is over. If you don’t we’re going to keep your father company.


At this point Julia stopped listening. She didn’t need to be told anything more. She knew where this conversation was going. “So does this mean I get to be a star”? She asked being her curious self.


“Actually no. You have to complete the auditions first.” She said adjusting her rearview mirror. Julia was a bit disappointed but was determined.


They pulled into a driveway. “Oh and Jules, it’s best not to tell Rose about this”.


The rain fell harder by the second. Julia sighed once again, but this time a good sigh. A sigh that meant I’m ready. Ready to be a star. She could picture herself. A millionaire, being pampered, and having the best life ever.


Julia opened the car door. She opened the umbrella. They walked up the long driveway and rang the doorbell. Ding-Dong.


A tall looking mother opened the door.


Julia gaped at the sight of the house. From the outside you’d think it was a normal house, but it wasn’t. The foyer was huge. It had a ceiling so high it seemed like it was endless. There was a bright chandelier that came down almost blinding to the naked eye. The walls had a light gold design.


“Oh my”, the tall women said pointing to the window. “It looks terrible out there”.


“I know some weather”, Julia’s mother agreed.


“Mom, mom, mom”, came Lavendar, Rose’s best friend. “Can Rose stay a bit longer?”


“Only if it’s O.K with Rose’s mother”, Lavendar’s mother said with a chuckle.


Julia glanced up at her mothers and gave her one of her I-don’t-want-to-stay-at-a-6 year old-house looks. Mrs. Lintheart patted Julia on her shoulder and smiled. One of her only-for-tonight-smiles.


Perfect, Julia thought. I am wasting my time at a 6 year olds house.


As Lavendar and Rose chatted away Mrs. Anderson (Lavendar’s mom) offered Julia and her mother some tea or coffee. They both politely refused by saying “no thank you”. The 3 went into the living room. Julia had already adjusted to the Anderson’s immense house but that did not change the fact that it was huge. In the living room the walls were a deep reddish-maroon color. There was a 72 inch plasma screen that stood there ready to be used.


“Why don’t you have a seat”, Mrs. Anderson told Julia. “oh wait, would you rather go to home theater?”


Julia smiled.


“Oh that won’t be necessary”, Julia’s mother answering for her. Julia reluctantly gave a


slight nod of her head.


“Mom, why would you say something like that? Of course, I would rather watch a movie than listen to adults talk, she thought to herself. Julia was mad at her mother. “Oh well, she while thinking of all her unanswered questions.


At 6:30 pm Julia’s mother decided that it was time to go home.


“Lavendar, Rose” Mrs. Anderson called from the bottom of the deep blue colored carpet.


They came sprinting down the steps. “Mommy”, I don’t want Rose to leave, Lavendar whined.


“I’m afraid they’ve got to”, Mrs. Anderson said. She opened the door. By this time it was raining very hard. BOOM, they heard thunder. They saw a flash it was lightening.


“Whoa”, Rose said.


“It doesn’t seem to safe out there, you’re welcome to stay with us for the night”, Mrs. Anderson offered.


“OH thank you we don’t have much of a choice, really” Mrs. Lintheart said.


Julia couldn’t believe her ears. Was this really happening? No. No way. Not if she could help it. Julia gave her mother another one of her “looks”.


Her mother gave her one of her “smiles”. “Only for tonight”, she added just in case Julia couldn’t understand her smile.


“Ughhhhhh”, Julia thought in her mind. All this time Julia was trying to focus on the positive. O.k. I said trying.


Lavendar was talking to Rose about how they have so many rooms, so they could sleep. The five went to the living room and turned the 72 inch television on to the weather channel.


“We are looking at severe thunderstorms throughout the Chicago area”, the reporter announced.


Julia would rather walk home in the rain than stay. She went upstairs with the adults and overheard that Rose would be sleeping in Lavendar’s bedroom and Julia and her mother would be staying in one of the three guest bedrooms. Mrs. Anderson showed them there room. It was like all the other rooms. Big.


As you have probably comprehended by now Julia must dread in despair through the night. Fine. O.K. Well, I guess it’s not that bad. Unfortunately it doesn’t matter ehat you and I think, it’s up to Julia. I just write it down.


They went back down stairs.


“Oh dear”, Mrs. Anderson said looking directly at Rose. You must be starving. Do you want to eat something?


“No, I’m not hungry; Rose replied in her high pitched voice, I want to play with Lavendar.


Lavendar followed by Rose then Julia, and then the adults into the playroom. The playroom had a mini ball pit, a play slide, and lots of books mainly fairy tales. Ii also had pink and white striped walls. The grown-ups laughed and smiled. Suddenly the lights went out. It was pitch black.


~CHAPTER 3~





Mrs. Anderson could find her path through the criss-crossing hallway, down the steps, and into the room that contained the flashlight. She pressed the on button and a yellow beam of color shot out. The silver flashlight illuminated everything in its way. Anita Anderson walked up the steps, back through the criss-crossing, and into the playroom.


As she entered the playroom she noticed two little bodies curled up on the play mats. Their eyes were shut tight and you could hear snoring.


Mrs. Lintheart whispered something into Mrs. Anderson’s ear. Instantaneously, Anita walked out of the room and then came back in. Her arms were full of multi-colored sleeping bags.


Julia was furious at once but kept her anger to herself. She wanted to atleast sleep on the bed. Julia’s mother helped unroll each of the five different color sleeping bags.


Julia slipped into her red one , taking off her sweatshirt and placing it beside her. Julia had to admit she was a bit tired, although it was only 15 past eight.


She closed her eyes, adjusted her pillow, and fell off into a deep sleep. She dreamt of pleasant dreams. “Hollywood”, she quietly murmured in her sleep. She was picturing herself getting the part, becoming a millionaire…you get the rest. The rest of her dreams were put to an end by the voice of her mother.


“Juls”, she said quietly standing next to Julia. Time to get up”


Julia rubbed her eyes, and stretched her legs as she sat up straight in her “bag”. She walked out yawning. She rolled it up into a neat ball. Julia realized that there were four empty sleeping bags beside her.


She picked up her sleeping bag and followed her mother downstairs. She was to drowsy to speak. Lavendar and Rose were making a loud din chasing each other around the kitchen.


Julia could smell the aroma of fresh blueberry pancakes being made. Julia loved pancakes. She sat down at the large maple wood table as two pancakes were placed in front of her. She was starving so she devoured them, but in a neat way.


* * * * * * * * *


~Later that evening~


Julia had gotten back to her home. Julia was wondering what the auditions were going to be like and what she had to do to get the part. “Briing, briiiing”, the phone rang.


She ran into the master bedroom and picked up the black phone. “Hello”, Julia called into the phone.


“Juls, is that you?”, her dad asked


“Yeah it’s me”, she said puzzled. “Who are you”?


“Your daddy”, her dad replied.


Julia gasped at these words. She couldn’t even recognize he fathers voice. He was touring Spain for ideas. “ Hi”.


“ Honey, your just the person I wanted to talk to. I bet your mother has already told you about”, he paused.


“Hollywood”, Julia finished for him squirming with joy.


Her dad took a deep breath. “Um er about that, we need a girl for the part”, he started talking faster as he went along. Youre perfect for the part. I asked the producer and he said maybe. He aslso said that me being the director can’t do with anything with you getting the part. Anyway, you still have to audition a couple of lines. There aren’t many people competing for it. 16 including you to be exact. But you don’t have to move to Hollywood, you don’t even have to try out for the part if you don’t want to.


“Dad, Julia started. I want to do everything you just mentioned. I want to move, get the part and become rich.“Just one question. What’s it about?”


“Ah”, can’t tell you.


“Huh”?, Julia asked baffled.


“Show biz policy. You have exactly 24 hours to rehearse for the auditions.


Julia gawked. “ So you are saying that I have 1 day practice”?


“That’s right”, he answered casually.


Then everything got quiet. A mysterious quiet. A chilling quiet. “Julia”, he whispered. Then he hung up.


~CHAPTER 4~





Julia pressed the round black button to off the phone. “What was that all about”? she wondered. She had so much to get ready for. Could she do it? Julia had no idea what the movie was about.


Julia walked into the family room. It had two beige colored couches and a T.Vimon. She found Rose watching Bob the Builder. IT had just started so the theme song was playing. “Bob the Builder. Can he fix it? The T.V yelled.


“Bob the builder. Yes he can!! Rose chimed in.


“Rose, can I please watch now”? Julia asked as she turned her head away from the obnoxious show.


“Nope”, Rose replied with her eyes still glue to the television.


Julia didn’t bother arguing with her younger sister. So, she went upstairs to her bedroom and got out her pink cell phone. She called her two best friends Ally, and Nicole cell.


Ally is a long haired blonde who loved nothing more than a good old adventure. Julia and Ally were alike because they both liked an adventure, but Ally was far more daring. I guess you could call her a risk taker.


“Hey ally”, Julia called into the phone “ It’s Julia”.


“Oh hey” Ally said.


“Over the last few days I heard really big news. You know how my dad’s a film director and all”, Julia asked.


“Yeah”, Ally replied wondering why her best friend was telling her something she already knew.


“They have a part open, and I’m auditioning”, Julia squeaked.


The two of them screamed with excitement.


“When are you going”? Ally asked unable control her curiosity.


“3 weeks, I could try to invite you. If you’d like”, she added.


There was a slight pause in which Ally was thinking. Thinking about the “movie”. Was this really going to happen?


“3 weeks”, she repeated. You do know what’s happening in 3 weeks, right?


Julia was stunned. Here she was telling Ally the best news of her life so far but all she could about was school!


“School, so”, Julia asked.


“I can’t skip school”, Ally said rather mean.


“I’m sorry, I am not trying to brag or anything”, Julia said.


“I know”, Ally said back in her soft voice.


“Bye”, Julia said.


“Bye”, Ally said.


Julia lied against her tootsie roll pillow. She looked out of her window. There was little light still shinning through them.


Julia called Nicole. Nicole was the least adventurous. Unlike Julia and Ally, Nicole preferred to be “out of danger”. She liked adventures but if there was a slim chance of her getting in trouble she was out. Somehow she had always been dragged along. She was ind of short compared to the others, and had short brown hair.


They continued their conversation for a while. This time it had gone much smoother.


~CHAPTER 5~


Days turned into weeks of boredom. One week until the big move. Ally invited Nicole and Julia over to her house. They greeted each other at the crisp white door.


They went to Ally’s room. IT was messy. Clothes were on the ground along with her CD’s of her favorite bands: Daughtry and Maroon 5. There were school books scattered here and there. IN conclusion it was messy.


Ally cleared a spot on the colorful bed and motioned for the two of them to sit down.


“So Juls” Nicole started. “When’s the audition”?


“One week”, Julia said.


Nicole and Ally looked at each other and nodded their heads.


“What”? Julia asked.


“ We are going to get you ready for the movie in case you get the part”, Ally said.


“We are? Nicole asked. What about the other thing”?


“What other thing”, Julia said with a confused look on her face.


“ We can do that later”, Ally suggested ignoring Julia’s question.


Ally is more of a tomboy as you probably have figured out by now. After you read what’s next you will be surprised.


“Wear these”, Ally told holding out a pair of silver sparkly high heels.


“Why do I need these”, Julia said scared. Not a scared-scared but a scared-to-wear-high-heels-shoes-scared.


“ Are you sure we won’t get in trouble, because I doubt those are your shoes, no offense Ally”, Nicole asked being her worried self.


“Relax”, Ally said ignoring Julia’s question once again.


Julia put the shoes on her feet. She started to wobble. She took two steps without falling and the third she fell to the ground with a thunk.


“Ow”, Julia yelled. She had twisted her ankle. It wasn’t that bad but it still hurt.


“Bad idea. Are you O.K? ” ally asked.


“I knew something like this was going to happen. Are you O.K Juls? I am sooooooooo sorry. Nicole started to mumbled a few more words.


“I’m fine”, Julia lied because it still hurt but her worrying friend went on.


Ally apologized to Julia for making her wear the high heels although Julia knew that it was the clothes on the messy floor that made her trip not the shoes.


* * * * * * * *


One week had gone by like that. Back at the Lintheart’s Rose was throwing a fit after Mrs. Lintheheart explained where and why they were moving.


“It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. Why does she get everything she wants? It’s not fair”, Rose pouted stomping her tiny feet on the ground.


“Now Rose be patient, her mother started, you’ll get turn.


“I don’t want to be patient”, Rose said angrily.


Julia came downstairs with her suitcase. They had packed earlier and were on there way. They piled into the silver minivan.


When they arrived at the airport they waited. If you have a younger sibling and are going somewhere you probably know how it is. They create a scene, then a million pair of eyes look your way and well, you get humiliated. That’s exactly what Rose did. So I am not going to waste my time and your time describing the humiliation of Julia.


They boarded the plane. The plane was quite small, but it had comfortable seats. The windows were shaped rectangles.


Rose got the window seat, her mother was in the middle, and Julia got the aisle seat. As soon as Julia sat down she fell asleep.


“Jules”, Mrs. Lintheart whispered. Julia’s eyes slightly opened then closed again.


“Jules”, Mrs. Lintheart said a little louder. Nothing.


“JULIA”, Rose screamed at the top of her lungs.


Julia abruptly opened her eyes. She looked around the rest of the plane was empty.


“We’re here, Mrs. Lintheart announced, in Hollywood”.


~CHAPTER 7~





They checked their luggage in. The people there were all very well-dressed. IT was mainly adults who were walking through the long lines.


“Right outside this airport is Hollywood”, Julia whispered to Rose.


“Just a few more minutes, Julia, Mrs. Lintheart explained. Then we will go by taxi to our hotel.


“What’s our hotel like”? Rose asked her mother.


Well, it’s called Hollywood Orchid Suites. It’s not too fancy but it is expensive, her mother replied as the three of them walked towards the door. We have been given the deluxe suite. Julia wasn’t listening she kept walking with her eyes focused on the door.


Julia swung it open. There was a giant hill with HOLLYWOOD printed on it in big white letters.


All three of the faces smiled. There was also a busy road making not too hard to find a taxi cab. They hopped in the bright yellow cab.


“Where to”? The cab driver asked in his deep-commercial-like voice.


“The Hollywood Orchid Suite”, Rose said in her high pitched voice answering for her mother.


He driver dropped them off and waved goodbye. Mrs. Lintheart led the way inside while


Rose took her time skipping and twirling in her ridiculously pink blouse and her pink sparkly shirt to match. They walked into the lobby.


“ Who might you be”, the guy behind the counter asked Rose.


“My name is Rose Lintheart”, Rose answered.


“Lintheart eh”, the guy behind the counter said as he started to type something in the computer. “Ah yes, you will be staying in suite #339. Enjoy your stay”, he added as they started to walk away.


Julia twisted the knob of suite #339. It wouldn’t budge.


“You have to use the key card silly”, Rose said twirling. Julia didn’t remember Rose getting the key card from the guy behind the counter. Anyway, Julia slid the card inside and waited for the small green light to come up. She opened the door and walked inside.


The room was cool. Two king sized beds, two T.V’s and a bathroom. On one of the beds they found a note. Julia read it aloud.


Dear Julia Lintheart,


We would like to inform you that your audition will take place tomorrow at Hollywood Studios. Be there no later than 12:00 pm. Your lines are attached to this note. Good Luck.


“What else does it say?” Mrs. Lintheart asked.


Your Lines


You: Mom I’m bored. (say in a whiny voice)


Mom: We have to go pick up your sister then go to the mall.


You: Again? I hate going there.


Mom: We need clothes for fall.


You: Don’t I need clothes for winter first?


Mom: We got those last week.





Julia practiced with her mother. She stumble on every other word.


“What was that”, Rose said being mean.


Julia shot her a nasty look.


“I’m just saying, Rose continued, that you acted better at Lavendar’s house”.


“What are you talking about”? Julia asked, as if Rose was crazy.


“You acted as if you hated going to Lavendar’s house when you enjoyed it. You pretended to be mad but you had nothing better to do.


Julia knew that she was partially correct. Fine, Julia knew she was a hundred percent correct, but she still acted like Rose was crazy.


“Why don’t you try again, Julia”, Mrs. Lintheart said trying to break the tension between the two sisters.


Julia tried again and got it almost perfect.


“What’s this”, Rose said pointing to the piece of paper with the lines on it.


Julia took the piece of paper out of Rose’s hands. She looked at it carefully, there was another verse of lines. Do I have to recite these lines too, she thought to herself. The lines were sad. They were about girl who finds her long lost mother.


“Let’s practice these too”, Julia told her mother. They practiced. There was crying scene that Julia just couldn’t get right.


“Try thinking of something sad”, Rose said.


Julia took this advice. She thought and thought but couldn’t find anything sad. Julia finally got something from her own life. Her dad. It seemed so long since Julia had seen him. Tears welled up in her eyes.


“Mom, when will we see dad”?


“If you get the part soon enough, if you don’t we could still visit him on set, but we’d have to notify him first”.


Julia had a mission. The same mission as before (to get the part) but for a different reason. She longed to see her father.


~CHAPTER 8~





She slept through the night. She was ready, only half an hour till auditions. She was given an outfit to wear (provided by Hollywood Studios). It was a light blue baby doll top with black leggings.


The lobby was big and grand. I do not know how to describe it other than the simple words big and grand. They went through the double doors and outside. They fetched a cab and rode on the busy streets of Hollywood.


They pulled into the parking lot of Hollywood Studio. They walked inside and saw 15 other girls waiting to audition. Since she was the last audition, she saw some girls coming out crying, and others expressionless.


It had black floors and there were three judges. There was also a person next to her that acted like the mom. The judges explained that she could choose either of the two verses to audition. Julia considered this thought very carefully. At the end she decided that she would choose the mall one because she practiced it more and she could relate to it better.


Julia had butterflies in her stomach. She spoke clearly, and said the words with emotion. Julia felt a bit better. She thought that she had nailed the audition, but only time would tell if she got the part. She waited in the room along with the other girls. She was nervous.


The main judge came out. He cleared his throat, “The winner who gets the part is Julia Lintheart.”


Julia gasped. “Me”, Julia said scarcely believing what she just heard. Julia ran over her mother and gave her a hug.


“Rose, thanks for your advice it really worked, and I knew you were right all along”, Julia told her sister.


Julia felt like this was too good to be true. She had accomplished her mission, but still so many unanswered questions. Little did Julia realize that this was only the beginning.

Please read this story i wrote. By a 6th grader?
i like it, just maybe add a bit more tension, such as describing the other girls auditioning, and make 1 or two really good.
Reply:excellent...awesome..........good job......keep up the good work
Reply:umm i didnt even read it
Reply:TY for taking the time to make this question but it is just too long. Plz shorten it or give a summary.
Reply:I read chapter 1 and so far its pretty good, if it gets published it might even get an award.
Reply:thats so ******* long. nobodys gonna read it
Reply:i read the story and i want to know what happens next but there are some mistakes that were hard to understand.


but i still liked the story is there any more to it?? i want to read the rest! lol


this is a good story tho and u should definetly keep writing!
Reply:It's pretty good, but some of your words are repetitive and unclear. For example, "Julia pressed the round black button to off the phone" is not really clear. You can't technically just "off" the phone. The technical term is turn off (if that's what you mean). Also, your chapter one doesn't not introduce the plot very well. You keep talking about how Julia's mad and having a bad day, but it's not immediate to realize why. I would revise that.
Reply:Sorry, man. I didn't read it. It was CRAZY long. You have to make it short as possible next time.
Reply:OMG! this story took me 4 ever to read but i thought it was AWESOME! i would like to c this book extended on and published...it would be a nice pre-teen book!
Reply:Okay I didn't read it but I saw errors in the first sentence and my name is Julia too!
Reply:well thats too long and i did read up until chapter 2 and its not bad for a 6th grader
Reply:Damn, girl! Are you kidding me? I'm a 10th grader and I couldn't write like that! You're really descriptive, that's great.





But you could reword a few of the sentences and fix some of the grammar. But since you're in the 6th grade I wouldn't worry about that too much. Get someone to edit it for you maybe.





You should totally try to get it published! It would make a great book for 4th graders.





Keep it up! You're amazing!
Reply:not bad. even though i only read the first two sentences because it's unbelievably long.




freckles