Ever wanted to annoy everyone at the mall?

Wow, some of you must really love to annoy people in public because I've had at least three emails asking me to give advice on annoying people in malls, stores, and WEDDINGS?!


So I tracked this down, it's a long list, but the more the merrier! XD


Thanks for reading, guys!!! Enjoy!!








Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.





Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.





Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shlock.





Sneeze on the sample tray at Heckory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.





At the bottom of an escalator, scream “My SHOELACES! AAAGH!”





Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.





Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.





Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger Queen...


....but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they’re “astronaut food”.





Follow patrons of D. Balton’s around while reading aloud from Dianetics.





Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.





Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it’s a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, “You mean you really can’t see it?”





Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears.





Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning.





Test mattresses in your pajamas.





If you’re patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.





Sprint up the down escalator.





Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the “hidden picture”.





Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.





Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.





Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a





At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there’s much meat on them.





Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.





Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.





Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.





Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.





Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.





In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, “I see London, I see France...”





Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.





Play the tuba for change.





Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of


Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.





Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will “give you a really wicked buzz.”





Ask the personnel at Peer 1 Imports whether they have “any giant junk made out of straw.”





“Toast” plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.





Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.





Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.





Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing “Saved by the Bell”. Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.





Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are “leakproof”.





“Play” the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises. Loudly.





Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. Squawk at your reflection.





Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they’re real.





If it’s Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap.





Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say “Domino’s.”





At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.





Show people your driver’s license and demand to know “whether they’ve seen this man.”





Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn’t turned blue yet.





Walk up the skinniest stairs in the mall with your arms out not letting anyone pass and walking really slow. Growl at anyone approaching.





Alternatively, link arms with a few friends and march up the most commonly used staircase, growling at anyone approaching.





Find one of the huge boom-boxes and turn it to some rock station. Then, turn it off and turn the volume all the way up. Then the next person to check it out will have great fun!





Set all of the alarm clocks in any of the Bed %26amp; Bath stores to go off every ten minutes on the loudest setting possible.





Buy the largest soda the stores have available, drink it down to the last inch, then stand behind someone while slurping up the remaining soda as loud as possible, when they tell you to stop it retort that you don't like to waste things.





Men, go into women's clothes stores and try on skirts, underclothes, swimsuits, etc. Ask shop assistants what they think (vise-versa for women)





Bring survial gear and "live" in one of the tents in a camping shops. Scream "Help" %26amp; "We're under fire" every 5 mins. Make battle noises as well!





Wear you swimming clothes and go swimming in the coin pool! Wear armbands and a rubber ring for extra effect!





Start a sing along in the middle of the mall.





Print lots of "Fake" money, go into the mall (second floor if available) and throw it all away.





Go into a pet shop and release all the birds, parrots etc. Screaming at the top of your voice "Be free my feathered friends" (DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! – birds have beaks)





Follow someone with children around yelling "mommy I want that!"





Take the money out the fountain while swimming and hand it out to people, spend it or if possible throw it from the second floor (it might hurt someone)





Add strange growths to the giant lego men in the toy stores





Put weird backgrounds on store computers when people aren't looking.





Buy feather boa at a clothing store and hang on to the rail while waving it and screaming "Look everyone I can fly!"





Stand in front of the Gap. "Fall" in repeatedly. Threaten legal action.





When ever someone makes an announcement over the loud speakers cover your ears and scream "The voices...the voices...make them stop"





With a friend, speak in a different language (or make up your own) and make a seen, pointing at signs and people as if they were something shiny and new that you've never seen before. Pretend you're a tourist.





Walk right on people\'s heels and when they look back at you stop and look at the ceiling and when they turn back around, continue





See if a yawn really is contagious.





PERSONAL FAVORITE: Grab some friends and race from one side of the mall to the other.





Now, I personally don’t think there’s enough here, so I’ll post a second one as soon as possible – it’ll be on what to specifically do in the stores!! In the meantime, keep emailing me ideas – I love some inspiration!!

Ever wanted to annoy everyone at the mall?
OMG!!!


these are sooooooo sooooo soooooooooooo funni!


im in LOVE with them!


thnx so much for putting them up!


haha im so going to try these!


=D


teehee


ciao ciao %26lt;33
Reply:Test mattresses in your pajamas.


That one sounds very much like a stunt off the Chaser....You should watch that show...all unAustralians if you like this type of annoynig stunt stufff...Its very funny :P
Reply:that is so funny - didn't get chance to read them all so if you've put this down sorry but you could go into the changing room - make some grunting noises then shout out oh no there's no toilet paper!
Reply:My Good Gosh!! That's the most reading I have done in 3 months...


That was worth it...


It was Kracka-lackin funny!!! =]


HAHAHA!!!


[*] You have been awarded with a gold shiny star =]





peaacee =]
Reply:...This is incredible. haha....Im really going to take a few of these and have some fun...And I live in Minnesota the home of the "Mall of America" it's HUGE! so there will be no lack of space and or people/things to just have a few good laughs with :-) thanks
Reply:Wow i havent laughed that hard in a while!
Reply:1.Cover one side of a shiny half-dollar with super glue or 5 minute epoxy, and glue it to the floor. Carefully cover it with your shoe so noone sees what you're doing. After it has set, move away and watch from a safe distance as people try to pick it up.


2. Make a ball out of compressed detergent soap, and secretly drop it into the large fountain or waterfall. Move to a distance and watch the suds start to roll.


3. Print out 8 1/2x11 pictures of Barney Fife with the words, "Premises protected by Fife." and tape them to all outside doors. Watch the rent-a-cops throw a fit.


4. Lock all stalls in a bathroom and then climb over or under each dividing wall and leave. For extra annoyance put a drop of superglue into each sliding lock.



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