Monday, August 3, 2009

Dating someone wealthy when you are poor...?

I don't believe in taking money or asking things of people..but I am dating this extremely wealthy guy (who I really do like)but the stupid thing is that he invites me places (like events and the races etc) and most times I have to decline because I either: cant afford the clothes/shoes etc to go to these things (as you cant dress cheap for those places) and also I am having enough trouble paying my rent and utilities. I have not told him this (I suffer in silence..)and I would never ever dream of asking for money (I don't want his money!). He buys me dinner %26amp; I buy him coffee (I really try and make things even out). What should I do about this situation?

Dating someone wealthy when you are poor...?
Got to ask one question: does he know you are poor?





Don't try too hard to prove to him that you are not in the relationship for the money. Think of this guy as your boyfriend who just happens to be rich. Be open and honest with him and see where it leads. If you were dating a guy who wasn't so wealthy and were having trouble with your bills, wouldn't you ask him for help?





If you keep avoiding going to events with him, he will start making assumptions and you'll be in danger of losing him.
Reply:He just needs to know, about you. He has to know how you survive and where you come from. Then he can understand you can't afford some of the things. You are not being open with him here. You will not be asking him for money, but if he ask you to go with him, simply tell him, you can't afford new clothes, as u have no clothes that go along with the accassion. Its about him helping you if he cares and loves u. Then if he wants u to go, he will buy you clothes and shoes.
Reply:All you can do is to be honest with him. You don't have to ask for or take any money from him, just let him know that you can't do certain things because you are on a budget right now. There is no shame in that.


Telling him something like that is better than just to not go places with him; he could possibly start thinking that you just don't want to see him. If your financial situation bothers him, you don't need that kind of person anyway. It will all work out.








Best Wishes
Reply:You lucky thing!! It sounds to me like two people are finding each other despite external circumstances. Keep in mind financial circumstances can change - it might be he that is poor and you wealthy in 10 years - the important thing is to go for the person, not the circumstances. Dont make it a stumbling block in your mind. Anyway - if he wants you to go, and you want to go, to these events, why dont you dress with the taste and dignity im sure you have without spending money at all - if others dont like it it says more about them than you.
Reply:Are you crazy?





He wants to spend his money on you and spoil you - he is dating you.





You should tell him. Plus men like to provide for women and he wants you to do things with him.





I dated a fairly wealthy guy and he wanted me to go to nice restaurants with him so of course he paid because I couldn't. He also bought me some nice outfits I could wear when I went to his work functions.





What's wrong with that? Swallow your pride and take advantage of it while you can. Men love to spoil women.
Reply:You should tell him the truth next time he invites u to a place where u've to dress really nice.


Then if he tells u he can pay, u should maybe insist, coz if not, then he'll belive u're with him just beacuse of his money.


Wait half a year and then maybe ask for money, but then I guess u're married if u're still together :P
Reply:If you really like him and he like you. Tell him about your situation. If he really care about you he will stick around and help you out with your needs instead of judge you. So take a chance and tell him in private. When you do you will feel so better. Just don't depend on him alot.
Reply:Suffering in Silence is foolish. In a relationship you should communicate you feelings. If he really likes you he will understand. I hate when a girl act like youre supposed to know something and you cant think of it and then they get all mad.
Reply:You should make him aware of your situation but don't ask money from him! Just tell him sometimes you can't afford going to certain places with him and he will have to adapt himself and you'll have to adapt yourself as well!
Reply:Be really honest with him and tell him about this. Or u'll both end up suffering in silence and it'll be bad for ur relationship. Good luck!
Reply:Talk to him about it, sure he will understand, it will be fine
Reply:if he doesnt know ur poor he'll get pissed off because he thinks that ur just blowin him off at the dates u dont go to
Reply:don't worry so much just tell him how u feell and whats going on im sure he'll understand
Reply:be honest with him, otherwise you will lose him. If he asks you to the races and you decline, he thinks it is because you don't want to see him, not because you can't afford it. Invite him around to your place, he will probably see from your living standard that you are not very well off and put two and two together. Good on you for trying to be financially independent, but a little helping hand wouldn't go astray either, would it?



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